For what seems like the past 20 years, the New York Islanders have been eliminated from the playoffs before the spring could boast so much as a single bloom. Of course, it hasn't been 20 years (they made the post-season in 2006-‘07), but time drags when you aren't having any fun.

For a number of teams around the league – Columbus, Edmonton, Carolina and Toronto – the playoffs haven't been a serious thought since the end of 2009.

So what's it like? What are guys supposed to do? Put it in neutral? Ride it out ‘til next year? 

Not when you're making a million bucks of someone's money, I can assure you that much.

The stresses of playing on an eliminated team are just as plentiful as those playing on a playoff-bound team. The stink of failure on your team makes it hard to do anything right in the public eye. Even winning a few games doesn't change your status as a league-wide afterthought. So guys get selfish.

The team knows that personnel changes will be made, and nobody's job is safe. It's time to protect your own ass(ets) by demonstrating you're a valuable contributor at the NHL level.

The horrible thing about this is, it hurts the team.

Instead of passing, guys pull the trigger at the wrong time. Instead of being responsible defensively, they'll go out of their way for that big hit that makes them look good. It's a downward spiral of second-guessing and indecision, because clearly whatever it was you were doing at the start of the year wasn't working.

The locker room tension is horrible, too.

Coaches tend to filter events of a single game by the score – if you're winning, a big hit is a big hit. If you're losing, throwing that same big hit can get you yelled at for being out of position. So the locker room tension comes from that phenomenon, amplified to season-sized, so you can't do anything right.

Even winning teams have their off-ice problem, but when a losing team has them, it's the first thing coaches and captains point to for failure. Of course guys missed curfew again last night, why do you think we're a losing team?

It's never acceptable for coaches, captains or management to simply say "our team isn't good enough" – to blame the roster and the lack of talent. You only have the ingredients you have to work with, and nothing more. So get cooking.

The team has to work harder in practice because of the failures. We must need to work harder. We must be out of shape.

Every single day, practice is dread-worthy, because you never know which coach is gonna show up. The normal one or the guy wearing his "we-suck" filtered glasses.

Good teams get the rest and respect you need to be in the right mental state for the playoff push. They get more days off, they get to joke around, and life is good. You're ready for work when it's time to work. But the losing team faces extra work and general disrespect, while nothing is allowed to be funny – especially after one of your many losses.

What's so funny, you like being a loser?

So your mental state is damaged, you're working hard to try to climb back to a level of respectability, and your team is killing itself with individualism.

The only saving grace? Self-depracation.

Much like Leafs fans have turned to in the last, oh, 70 years. You find the guy or two on the team that you can trust, and act like it's middle school. You assign blame, heap mockery and just have a generally good, healthy, cathartic hate session about your team.

We. Suck.

So here's hoping the guys on the Islanders are doing enough to protect their jobs – but mostly, here's hoping they're finding time for those all-important therapy sessions.

Boy, we almost had ‘em last night. And we would've too, if it wasn't for the fact that We. Suck.

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