For fans that have never played competitively, there's a long-running adage that still rings true: "look good, feel good, play good".  I'll advise you on step one - the looking good on the ice part - and trust that you can take care of two and three.

When I first stepped out of minor hockey and started playing junior, my frumpy style got seriously abused.  I needed a makeover.  An extreme makeover.

But I was a quick learner.  By the time I was in my second year of junior, I considered myself an expert on the topic, and thus, it became my self-appointed job to less-than-subtly impart my new found knowledge on any opponent within hearing range that looked they were wearing an ensemble compiled of garage sale cast-offs.

However you choose to pronounce it, "Tuuk" is the name brand of the skate blade holder that separates the boot from the blade (in Canada, it's pronounced like something Gretzky would ever-so-inappropriately do with the left side of his jersey - "tuck" it. In the US, they pronounce it the way they should be pronouncing the head-warmer they currently have no name for - the "winter-related wool-hat skull-warming-thing" - "Toque".  But I digress).

Studies show that white ones make you go at least five kilometers per hour faster (or three miles per hour, depending on where you're playing).  Of course, studies haven't actually been done, but this is well established as fact within the hockey community.  Nearly every pro, collegiate and junior player agrees with this - except, apparently, those select few that continue to wear skates that are the style equivalent of socks and sandals - What Not To Wear candidates like Doug Weight, Chris Drury, and that Gretzky slug.

Skates look clumsy on black.  Tuuk has tried grey, then they went with that clearish-blue on the Bauer Vapors for a bit, but I can tell you first hand, the first thing all pro's do when their skates come in is take them to the trainer who has 50,000 white holders in his training room, and switch them out for the fancy ones that companies keep experimenting with.  So start there.

And for you kids...

Stop pulling your team socks over the back of your skates, ESPECIALLY those of you who've been pulling them down below the heel like I once did.

Not only do you look like you're wearing something that ends in "hose", but you look like some baseball player with ill-fitting stirrups.  Not to mention, practicality:  you're limiting much-needed movement in your ankles.

And speaking of movement...

Don't tape your ankles.  Ever.  No matter how bad you need it.  Our team captain in Boise, Marty Flichel, put so much tape on his ankles that you half expected him to hold onto the boards when he stepped onto the rink, like he's some first-timer.  It's the on-ice equivalent of wearing water wings.  When "bender" is an insult in your sport (ankle-bender), giving visual confirmation of that barb isn't the smartest idea.  So don't do it.  ESPECIALLY in a color other than clear sock tape.

And on that topic...

Don't put stick tape on your socks, in any case.  It reeks of eighth-grade girl desperation.  It's just self-loving attention-mongering.

Most teams have bans on this, but for those that don't, there's always one superstar that insists on putting white tape on his black socks and vice versa.  If you want to claim it's not for attention, but stability, then just tape under the damn socks and be done with it.  The visible stick-tape-on-your-socks is the sleeveless-T-with-the-big-rips-down-the-side-at-the-gym of the on-ice world.  We're all laughing at you, and surprised that you can't tell.

And still on tape...

Taping your stick with a purpose makes you look smarter.

If tape makes taking passes easier, puts more spin on the puck, and gives control in puck handling - then tape the whole blade, right?  When factoring in hockey style, you want to look the best you can without sacrificing any ability.  So being a guy who puts just two or three strips on your blade screams of trying too hard to be different.  You're the jeans-under-the-skirt girl of the hockey world.  YOU'RE ALREADY WEARING A SKIRT.

Obey the simple rules.  Shoulder pads can't be too big.  Don't tuck in your jersey.  Pants have to be knee length.  These things matter.

Which brings me to the final essay question on the style test:

Tongues-out, or tongues-in on the skates.

The answer?

There is no right answer.  It's player-specific.

I played with guys who ordered double-long tongues so they'd hang out farther.  Some ordered different color fabric on the inside because they planned to have ‘em out.  It always kind of fit the attention-mongering category for me, so I chose to skip it.  Remember, this is hockey, not football.  We blend, and try to put team before self.  Or at least you're supposed to.

The only indisputable fact of the tongue game, is this:

Stay at home d-men, your tongues are in.  They just are.  The rest of us will use our discretion.

So pay attention to those major details.  You may want to tinker with your style, and that's just fine.  Just stay within the broad guidelines I just laid out.

Because the only rule of hockey style is the most important rule of hockey style. Look good, feel good, play good.

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Good to know I'm doing it right

As a stay at home D who happens to hate the tongue out look - it's good to know I'm doing it right :-)

Deirdrebeth , October 17, 2009

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This should be passed out as mandatory, supplemental reading material for all rookies at all training camps, and even interated into the hockey school ciriculums.

SDC , October 17, 2009

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